Are rich people the most unhappy?
I sat in my car on my one-hour journey to work in the frantic combustion of Melbourne peak hour traffic, I flicked the radio channel from Mix to Fox Fm to Nova trying to find some music, anything to pass the time. As per usual, there was no music playing but rather the drone of their voices over the latest hot gossip on celebrities and news of the world.
As they chatted about celebrities’ latest love affairs, divorces, D.U.I (drinking under the influence), drug dependencies and criminal convictions I wondered what a life of money and fame would be like.
As they chatted about celebrities’ latest love affairs, divorces, D.U.I (drinking under the influence), drug dependencies and criminal convictions I wondered what a life of money and fame would be like.
“Top News” the news presenter proclaimed, “Bill Gates taking back the title of the richest person in the world overtaking Slim with Forbes estimating $70 billion as he continues to win the money race”. $70 billion, now that would solve all my so-called “problems” in life.
As I too strive to ‘win this money race’ where I think I will be happier making more money and being successful at work, to be able to purchase material possessions, buy a luxurious house, raise a family, travel the world and share amazing experiences with my partner and friends. I wonder if I would be truly happy with billions than if I continued to work hard, earn an average stable income, get married and raise a family.
Throughout private school education, university and work I have crossed paths with people who are rich due to inheriting wealth or worked hard for their money. As I witness and hear about the dramas of a life filled with the pressure under scrutiny of the public eye and being rich, I wonder how ‘rich’ their lives truly are. This forced me to ponder if I have met anyone who is a billionaire and truly happy with their life and to be honest, I came to a standstill.
Are rich people happier than anyone else?
Here is what I have found so far:
People who have started from nothing and built incredible wealth
- Most work 7 days a week and are addicted to checking their mobile phones
- They care about attending events that are deemed important, because often that reinforces where they sit in the world or their hierarchy of friends
- They are afraid of losing their wealth- seen in the case of Bill Gates “taking back” his position of number one wealthiest man
- They are tight arses - except when it comes to buying the most expensive house or luxury cars and never want to actually spend a dollar
- They have people who have people
- The women in their lives often spend too much time on material possessions and getting cosmetic surgery - possibly because they too are unhappy with themselves and a lack of attention from their husbands
- They need their ego fed - surrounding themselves with people who hold onto their every word and show casing their wealth to everyone they can
- They would have made different choices in life, perhaps married a different person - but because of money, power and positioning, they would never change their lives but instead live two lives - the one that they want the public to see and the one that they dream to live
- They care about how much they spend on Wine and Champagne, trying to impress someone around them or to remind you of how wealthy they really are
- Often care too much about what people say about them and express their opinion on anyone they possibly can, putting people around them down
- Have constant battles and dramas in life, love affairs, divorces, alcohol dependencies etc
- Have forgotten what is truly important in life- in my opinion, to enjoy life with people you love.
People that have inherited wealth
- Often have to live up to family expectations and pressures of the way their family would like them to live their life rather than their own goals
- Feel like they can never live up to the expectation of their fathers, who have previously made the money for them
- Lack power on decision-making, other than with their friends, because someone else still controls their money
- Enjoy the freedom of private jets, big houses and luxury cars, but worry there is always someone else that may have more than them
- Often worry about who they can trust as their real friends
- Have to live up to everyone's expectations, behave a certain way-often throw big expensive parties again to showcase their wealth
- Often if they have a sexual preference that isn't considered metro sexual, they suppress it and do the things that "normal" people do like get married, while having a man or woman on the side - all so they don't embarrass their families or live up to the expectations they believe others have
- They know that they will get more freedom the day their family passes down the wealth through death or otherwise and sometimes secretly long for this
- Have a sense of entitlement
People that are half way there
- Struggle between being happy or achieving significant wealth
- Still believe in being innovative and know that hard work is the only way
- Tend to be more aware of life work balance
- Never feel they are at their full potential and good enough, so always strive to be a better worker and person in every aspect of life
- Want what they don't have; bigger house, more expensive car, luxury holidays etc
- Take risks, bigger than they would like
- Tend to show off more of their wealth or falsify that they are wealthier than they often are - they will buy Crystal in St Tropez for $10,000 a bottle while their much richer friends, will be more content with a Vodka
- Have a chance to take a stock take on their life, to step back and realize what is most important and change their outcomes
While these are all generalizations they were formed by what I have experienced and observed over my life. My dad always brought my sister and I up by reinforcing hard work will lead to success. He maintained money is important in this day and age as the expenses of life continue to increase but he made sure he drilled into our heads that “money isn’t happiness” and we could have all the money in the world yet never be truly happy. It makes me realize my dad was always right. Is money what truly makes you happy? It makes me sad to think this is the fuel to a person’s happiness and if not, is money worth sacrificing your happiness over?
We all have different goals in life but the one thing that is most important to me is spending my life with someone I love and sharing these experiences with my family and friends. While I dream of endless money and luxurious possessions in a life of fame and fortune, will I ever actually be happy.
Love and Family is what drives me through life so how much of that would I be willing to sacrifice to ‘win the money race’? Is the stress of work and money worth it?
Amanda Flynn.
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comments ( 13 )
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06 Oct 2014I believe you have remarked some very interesting points , regards for the post.
ReplyDanelle Dowey
04 Oct 2013An excellent blog, well worth reading. I will bookmark this site and check again soon.
ReplyLEIA BENNIS
13 Aug 2013Hi Amanda,
ReplyGreat blog post. I think you have hit the nail on the head in terms of that old saying "money can't buy you love". I think that you can have all the money in the world but at the end of the day if you don't have the support and love of your family and friends around you, then what do you have?
I, like most people in society spend a lot of the time wondering if I had a bigger house or a better car or went on three overseas holidays a year wouldn't life just be perfect and I would be happy all of the time? When in reality it has been proven that appreciating and enjoying the little things in life are more likely to make us happy in the long-term. Such as taking a walk along the beach with your partner or watching as I did on the weekend my 2 year old niece open her birthday presents with such glee and excitement.
I recently read an article on the the 'Top five regrets of the dying' by The Guardian Newspaper which had found that most people in their final days were regretting that they did not spend more time with their friends and family. A lot of them wished that they hadn't spent so many hours at work over spending quality time with their family and many felt that they had missed out on many milestones in their children's lives due to this.
This outlines to me that you can work 7 days a week and achieve the big bucks in order to afford the house, the car and all the material possessions you could ever want but if you don't have the free time to enjoy these things with your family and friends what is the point of them?
I am also reminded of a saying I heard a few years ago 'if you have all the money you could ever dream of, but you don't have your health?, what do you have?
I think we need to take a step back from continually thinking that money = happiness and realise that happiness is a choice. If we can choose to appreciate the little things in life that make life so great on an everyday basis then maybe we will see that the most important things in life are love and family and not what we have in the bank.
Stefanie R
20 Jul 2013Spot on post! I was constantly given the “money is the most important thing in the world” speech from my Polish immigrant father, but then at the same time the “money cant buy happiness” one from my Australian-born mother. I always thought that they were trying to confuse me, but as I got older I realised that their different upbringings had instilled different ideals in them.
ReplyWhile I am extremely proud of my father’s ability to come to this country with absolutely nothing, and to build up such amazing wealth in such a short time, I can’t help but notice all the sacrifices he made to do so. He ticks every single point in your ‘people who have started with nothing’ list, and the ‘tight arse’ one in particular stands out to me the most.
Watching him over work himself unnecessarily has led me to believe that maybe its in human nature to never be happy with what we have, that we’re always wanting more than what we have. And if we get there we’re still not happy. That there is no end to the so called ‘money race’, and that if we’re not careful we can spend our lives with our heads down chasing each other’s tails, all the while losing sight of what was really important all along.
Jessica K
28 Jun 2013Great post!
ReplyI have to say that whilst travelling in Europe, some of the travellers I met with the least money and possessions were happier and having a much more enjoyable time then those staying at hotels with luggage full of spoils.
I thought this was because without an abundance of money, anything positive that came the poorer travellers way was appreciated to a much greater level than others.
Life is all about appreciation. Of what we have, have had and may have. Regardless of whether you are rich or otherwise, simply making a mental note of three things you are grateful for that day can make a huge difference.
Recently I downloaded the 'Grateful' app on my iphone. I found that even when I thought I'd had a particularly bad day, by writing down the positives I could balance my perspective out. Whilst work may have been tedious, I had my favourite food for lunch or made the train by a few seconds.
Key to happiness: perspective
Jessica K
28 Jun 2013Great post!
ReplyI have to say that whilst travelling in Europe, some of the travellers I met with the least money and possessions were happier and having a much more enjoyable time then those staying at hotels with luggage full of spoils.
I thought this was because without an abundance of money, anything positive that came the poorer travellers way was appreciated to a much greater level than others.
Life is all about appreciation. Of what we have, have had and may have. Regardless of whether you are rich or otherwise, simply making a mental note of three things you are grateful for that day can make a huge difference.
Recently I downloaded the 'Grateful' app on my iphone. I found that even when I thought I'd had a particularly bad day, by writing down the positives I could balance my perspective out. Whilst work may have been tedious, I had my favourite food for lunch or made the train by a few seconds.
Key to happiness: perspective
Maria Alda Prawitera
30 May 2013Hi Amanda!! Excellent topic for a post, and a great post too! I agree with these generalizations, sometimes, that's what tends to happen in the society, especially for the case of notorious celebrities! However, I do want to add that in my opinion, money CAN give you happiness, IF and only if the person is also rich at the heart and mind :)
ReplyTake Angelina Jolie for example, with all the wealth that she has, she has been an inspiration and role model to many women. She adopted a number of children who mean the world to her, serves in the UN, and uses her wealth to make a world a better place. With her popularity and beauty, she could have gone down 'that road' as well, but she did not because she has principles and strong life values!
People dream of having enough money to give it out to charity and solve other world problems as much as they can. I guess then money CAN sort of give you spiritual happiness :)
I just hope that if people/we have money, irrespective to whether it's inherited or earned from hard-work, people/we still stay true to them/ourselves and, as you said, not forget the most important things in life: love and family.