Life will always through us challenges and it's how we handle it and move forward that counts.

We can spend our time with our head in the clouds or we can live in the real world, believing that the best is yet to come. I am more familiar with the real world and am always excited by what the future holds.

Momentus step

Three months ago, I put my life on hold, to undergo a medical procedure to hopefully have a child. It was a momentus step because like many people these days, I hadn't thought about it much. In fact, I hadn't given it any thought at all. Then my dog passed earlier this year, and I missed having something to love and that gap in my life left room for something else.

It took me a while to realise that life is short and we don't want to go through life with any regrets.

No regrets

I decided that for me, it was best to undertake IVF and utilise anonymous donor sperm to have see if it was possible to have a child. After an initial hiccup with my own eggs, things came together and finally I produced the right number of eggs to proceed. Who would have ever thought I would be so up on anything medical. I have never cared too much about the human anatomy and cannot even remember the name of any illness I have had ever in my life other than the common cold. But this process had me spending two hours a day reading up on everything from "when do you know you are pregnant" to "how do you get pregnant". Over a few months, I found that I started to enjoy understanding the human body and the science behind making a baby.

The odds are terrible

For so many people, it's a lot more than that. It is their whole life and sometimes their life savings. I am fortunate to be walking into this situation as a mature (geriatric) woman who knows that her "eggs are old" and the likelihood is 0-1%. Not good odds at all.

Rationalising the facts, I knew from the get-go that this was a highly unlike positive outcome but I was prepared to give it a go because no-one wants to go through life regretting anything.

I have read so many forums from women that have tried one time after another. I did not have that privilege because of my age, so this was it. If I was going to do it with my own eggs, the chances of getting pregnant were low.

The reason to talk

The reason I talk about it is the fact that I will try anything, even if the odds are against me, so that I don't have regrets. 

The outcome is unknown other than technically I am pregnant but there are complications. One day the hCG level is high and the next it is lower than it should be. A totally brain-smack (more polite word than I would have liked to use). So when I get away with myself and excited, I am brought back to reality and reminded that this is not an easy road and the likelihood regardless of my blood tests is still very, very low.

Appreciation

My appreciation for other women and men who go through this has skyrocketed. Sometimes you have to experience something to truly be able to appreciate other people's situations. I know that it is unlikely for this to not result in a miscarriage, and that is a strange thing to come to grips with. But in my case, it is science. I didn't make a baby with someone I love, and in fact, I don't even know the person. I paid a few thousand for someone's sperm that I didn't even get to see a photo of. I share this, because it is ok to give it ago even if the odds are low. It's ok to be ok with a disappointing result should that happen. And it certainly is ok for any person to choose to have a family no matter which means they choose (as long as it is legal). Families aren't what we thought they were 40 years ago. They have evolved and so have I.

I've thought long and hard about my future and what I am going to do with the rest of my life, should it change. Basically, work smarter, and not harder. While a 4-Hour Work Week is that of fiction, I think there is a happier medium that I could slot nicely into.

Passion

My passion for business is at an all time high. I am incredibly excited by the prospect of where my businesses are going and how they will change shape over time. I've learned a lot over the years and while I know that I will never stop learning, I am certainly more comfortable with how everything is handled.

For now, I hope for the best but am prepared for things to not go my way. Life is too short to be caught up in things we cannot handle, change and side-step. 

Happy Thursday!